Leading While Female

Trudy Arriaga, Stacie Stanley, Delores Lindsey, authors of “Leading While Female – A Culturally Proficient Response for Gender Equity”, discuss promoting and supporting women in their career journey as school administrators.

The picture you see of me above is my current administrative team. I am the principal of the school and in the middle of the photo. Next to me are my amazing assistant principals. I love this picture because I love my team and how well we work together. It is also a good representation of what most people see when they look at us and look for the “boss.” You can’t help but notice my colleague Dr. Sell, he is a full head taller than both Miss Sasai and me. Those who don’t know us, who don’t know our titles often go directly to Dr. Sell when looking for the boss. I want to make it clear that Dr. Sell is a wonderful colleague and in no way perpetuates this phenomenon. He is one of my biggest supporters and I appreciate his wisdom and collaboration as part of my team. I have experienced this same phenomenon of being mistaken for the secretary or anything but the leader as I have taken on leadership positions in all aspects of my life.

When I was younger, I often would excuse people for their mistake because I looked young and could be mistaken for one of my students or any of the populations I was serving through my leadership. I even took it as a compliment that I seemed young, but as I have grown in my leadership capacity and wiser in my years, I have realized that while it may have been an honest mistake for some when I was very young, for the most part it was a bias that I was experiencing without even realizing. Even as I look back at my aspirations I had my own bias, never did I consider administration, much less the audacity to consider superintendent one day, but here I am watching the men who are in charge and thinking, I can definitely do that and I know I can do it better.

I am not this big feminist warrior who believes that women are mistreated or need to fight for their rights, or so I thought. I believed that gender inequality had been fought for and won be the women warriors before me and I was going to be able to enjoy the spoils of their victories. I have realized that I was wrong, we have made great strides and I do believe that I can achieve anything, I can own property and work outside the home, but it still shocking to me that regardless of your political views it took to 2020 for a women to be elected into one of the highest offices of our great nation. There remains a pay gap in this nation, “According to data from the US Census Bureau, the average gender pay gap in the United States in 2018 was around 18.9%, meaning that a woman working a full-time, year-round job earns 81.1% as much as her male counterpart earns”(Sonam Sheth, 2020).

While I work in an industry that has a pay scale that is set regardless of your gender, that is only half the story. The other half is how quickly and easily you are able to move through that pay scale. When it comes to senior level positions, they are most often filled by men. Again, women have made great strides, but there is still a disparity, “The latest McKinsey report suggested that more women are working in senior positions, but it is still hard for women to move up from entry-level jobs into higher roles. “For every 100 men promoted and hired to manager, only 72 women are promoted and hired,” the report said, which affects the number of women being promoted to higher positions in the corporate pipeline” (Sonam Sheth, 2020). I see this in my own district. If you look at the infographic I shared below, when it comes to senior level positions they are dominated by males.

Participating in the Leading While Female book study really opened my eyes to look around and see what is happening in my world. It also inspired me to look at my own biases and see if I am perpetuating the gender leadership gap on my own campus. Even though I am a female leader, am I inspiring and encouraging other females to also take leadership roles on campus? Am I giving them the “nod or tap” on the shoulder to say, hey you would be good at that, you should apply? The book study also made me realize that by being a mentor I can help other women. Apparently, this is something men do often when they go to the bar and have a drink, or go golf, or watch the game together. They simply network and get to know each other and offer friendly advice and then when it comes time for that big promotion, they have a connection. I see it all the time in my district. We call it the “boys club” and they definitely promote from within their club.

As a woman, I never did any of those things; after killing myself at work and devoting my all, I would rush home to give my all to my family. I certainly never went out with my girlfriends after work. I just didn’t have the time. Finding the home and work life balance was challenge enough, but now these women were suggesting that I should find the time to mentor other women and network. I am happy to report that I have found the time; I still don’t go hang out after work, or golf, but I do make a call on my drive home and send an encouraging email or note through the mail. I am also receiving these same things back from my network and I am so grateful for the support. Simple things like a shout out or tagging each other on social media make a huge difference. We’ve all seen the corny sayings, “be the kind of woman who adjusts the others tiara.” Well, we do need to do that- lift each other up. Also, it is okay to share your accomplishments. Ladies, it is not bragging or a big ego when you do something well. This is still something I am working on, but please ladies work with me. There is nothing wrong with sharing an accomplishment and honoring when something goes well. Look around, the men in the room always have something to share about how great things are going; this is a professional move. We need to be better at this- start bringing to the forefront what you do well!

That brings me to my final thoughts. If you read Cheryl Sandberg’s book, “Lean In” she talks about getting a seat at the table and speaking up. Well, here I was again in a book talk and realizing that I still don’t insist on a seat at the table. I can remember clearly being so frustrated at a principal’s meeting for having to text a male colleague, how is an ally, to say something because three females including me had tried and we were ignored. The second he said it, the higher-ups listened and commended him for his brilliant idea. The females were fuming, but in the moment we considered it a win, because we had achieved what was needed for the students. Looking back I am so disappointed with myself for not speaking up and demanding to be heard. The idea was not only good, it was necessary, and allowing ourselves to be overlooked was just wrong. So, ladies speak up, and when you are in meetings and they skip over you, or speak over you, or ignore your ideas, don’t sit back and assume that it wasn’t a good idea or you don’t deserve to be heard. Bring it up again, interrupt like men do and insist on being heard.

I encourage you to watch the video I shared above and learn more about Leading While Female, order the book, take the steps to be someone who eliminates bias in hiring practices and empowers other to grow into their leadership roles. (I shared book ordering information below) Celebrate others accomplishments. If you haven’t read Lean In, it is great and has great advice. (I also put a link to purchase this book below) If you are reading this blog before March 20th, then don’t miss out on the Leading While Female Conference. It is going to be amazing and so inspiring. (There is a link for registration below)

“Sonam Sheth, S. G. (2020, August 26). 7 charts that show the glaring gap between men’s and women’s salaries in the US. Business Insider. https://www.businessinsider.com/gender-wage-pay-gap-charts-2017-3#the-gender-wage-gap-varies-widely-depending-on-the-state-1.